Will Call Home

The Brig
By Kenneth H. Brown
The few…the proud…the Marines…the poor bastards. This is not the recruitment ad you see at the movies. The realistic looking set by Julianne Elizabeth Eggold with cyclone fenced bunks houses ten unfortunate prisoners who, as well as we, must endure two harrowing excruciating hours directed by Tom Lilliard. The "maggots", as they are called, are subjected to physical and mental abuse by brutal guards. They are not allowed to speak to one another, cannot cross the white lines on the floor, even to go to the head in unison without permission granted with ear-splitting yells. One can only venture to guess that, were America's jail inmates treated in this fashion, crime rates would drop exponentially. The star awarded this show is only for the incredibly hard working, and sweating, cast members; because as a play it rates a zero. There is no plot, and no dialogue, other than continuous shouted commands and responses, which caused at least half the audience to get up at intermission. The second act is only slightly more dramatic but it still falls short of theatrical merit. I don't know what crimes these marines committed, but what have we done to deserve this?

Odyssey Theatre Ensemble, 2055 S. Sepulveda Blvd., West Los Angeles. Wednesday-Saturday at 8:00 P.M., Sunday at 2 P.M., March 23rd at 7:00 P. M. Wednesday performances only on March 5, 12, 19, and 26. $25-$30.00.
(310) 477-2055 or www.odysseytheatre.com -3/30

Pre-Performance Dining Suggestion: One of my all time favorite Italian restaurants has always been LA BRUSCHETTA, less than ten minutes from the theatre. Not a flash in the frying pan, they've been around for almost twenty-four years. We should all age so well. It's been transformed from a Plain Jane into an intimate, warm, attractive place with brick walls and invitingly set tables and the melodious sound of the Italian language buzzing through the room. Owner Angelo Peloni has a heart of gold and a friendly welcome for everyone and service never falters. When debating between two chardonnays, one from Sonoma and one from the Central Coast, they quickly brought over a tasting sample. And before you choose your entrée, they apprise you of the nightly menu specials. And the food, Ahh… the food! A name sake bruschetta, now ubiquitous but introduced right here, comes to the table on toasted bread slices. As an appetizer, we shared a vitello tonnato, a dish I first prepared in my former career as a food editor. Chilled, roasted loin of veal thinly sliced and bedecked with tuna-flavored mayonnaise, not a speck of which was left on the plate, $10/95. Don't tell anyone, but I think theirs is better than mine ever was. Chicken ala Mattone has always intrigued me. Flattened with a heavy brick, it should be named chicken ala mammogram. Here it's called polenta ala diavolo, using a poussin, a young little chick baked to juicy tenderness and daubed with an ever so lightly spiced sauce. Don't be shy, pick it up and chew it to the bone, I did, $19.95. Another beauty is veal scaloppini pizzaiola, again, with a delicious sauce of white wine, garlic, and tomatoes; redolent with the nostril-tickling scent of fresh oregano over top quality veal served with spinach, $23.95. For a sweet finale, how about a mango panna cotta? It's presented in a martini glass crowned with a ripe red strawberry. Didn't have time for coffee because we dashed off to the theatre. In retrospect, I wish we had stayed and lingered in the throes of that real, old world hospitality.

La Bruschetta, 1621 Westwood Blvd., West Los Angeles. Fine wines, valet parking $4.00 (310) 477-1052

|
The Monkey Jar
By Richard Martin Hirsch
This excellent, powerful play revolves around an incident, all too common these days, of a fifth grade student in possession of a gun. The school is in a prosperous, West Los Angeles neighborhood, whose first African-American principal (the imposing Mark Berry), has to deal with the volatile situation of law and order versus the reputation of the prestigious, private school. Here, parental involvement is a high priority, P.T.A. meeting are S.R.O. and fundraising is forever on the agenda. The parents (Salli Saffiotoi and Richard Horvitz ), the latter an attorney with a very short fuse, are faced with the possible expulsion of their son (Josh Ogner alternating with Sekai Murashige), a struggling student under the tutelage of a relentless teacher (Henry Hayashi). A sympathetic phsychologist (the gifted Amy Tolsky), is brought in to investigate the whys and wherefores of the shocking event. Comic relief is provided by the knows-all, sees-all, tells-all president of the P.T.A. (the saucy Addie Daddio).

The attractive, functional set by Jeff G. Rack, moves easily to various locations, thanks to fleet-footed cast members and effective lighting by Meghan Hong. This is a multi-layered work, with racial and religious overtones and bruised egos in a fascinAting turn of events. To tell you more would take the edge off your enjoyment but let me just say that the title comes from a South American artifact on the principals' desk, whose significance is explained in due course. Do not miss this world premiere by an award-winning playwright, under the astute direction of Warren Davis.

TheAtre 40, on the campus of Beverly Hills High School, 241 Moreno Drive, adjacent to Century City, off Little Santa Monica Boulevard, Beverly Hills. Monday through Sunday 8 p.m., Saturday and Sunday matinees at 2 p.m. $20 - $25. (310) 364-0535 or www.theatre40.org. Free parking in building garage.
Note: Plays in repertory with Another Vermeer. Monkey Jar dates are: February 11, 12, 15, l6, 17, 20, 21, 25, 26 and 29; March 1, 2, 5 and 6.

Pre-Performance Dining Suggestion: Less than a five minute drive, takes you to RONI'S, a cute, little spot with a faux brick wall, dark wood furnishings and what are probably the best prices in all of Beverly Hills. A tossed salad (greens, diced tomatoes, shredded carrots etc.) or a bowl of soup, on my night a hearty chili-vegetable, courageously seasoned, are yours for an extra $3.25 with dinner. There are chicken breast preparations galore for $11.95 And if the piccata with lemon and artichoke butter is an indication, you can't go wrong with any of them. It came with nice, lumpy masher that had home-made written all over them and mixed, fresh vegetable, ingeniously grilled to retain their crispness and still have that good char-coaled flavor. The Asian style salmon, oven-baked and toped with planko crumbs was fine as well, if a little bit skimpy by compArison, for $16.95. Same veggies and a mound of white rice included. Service is most pleasant and a glass of Mirassou Chardonnay with god body and a fruity finish is only $7.

Harrison, Texas
By Horton Foote
I've had a Foote fetish" so to speak, ever since I saw my first staged work by this celebrated playwright (Pulitzer Prize, Oscar, Emmy, Theatre Hall of Fame etc.) and here you get three for one. These one-acters take place in the imaginary town of Harrison, very similar to Foote's real birth place of Wharton, Texas and to see these characters come to life is a cross between homespun folk tales and cinema verité. as he lays bare the many facets of human nature, warts and all. The first, "Midnight Caller", happens in a boarding house full of women in l949. They Are mostly soft-spoken spinsters, as they used to be called, who burst into tears at every opportunity. The new boarder is a man, Ralph Johnson (John Pirrucello), a rather dull municipal employee, who has an eye for the Attractive Helen (Elizabeth Carlson). This rankles the women, especially Alma Jean, a prissy type with a lousy disposition (Briiana Mandel). The action moves very slowly, just like life in this one horse town where one of the boarders, Miss Rowena (Wendy Phillips), a retired school teacher, sublimates by endlessly gazing out the window, admiring nAture and the changing seasons. Reminded me of a Bluegrass concert by the Dillards I once attended, where one of the musicians volunteered that, for excitement, he used to watch his sister's face break out. The pace picks up considerably in "Blind Date", a hilarious afternoon in 1933, in the home of Robert (John Bozeman) and Dolores (Laura Richardson). She's a fading Southern belle who is desperate to arrange a date for her visiting niece (Sarah Schaub). The mono-syllabic girl is totally devoid of all social graces and it's an absolute hoot to watch the aunt giving charm school pointers in polite conversation, while Awaiting the imminent suitor, shy, red-headed (Eddie Karr), himself no ball of fire, personality-wise. There's drama and suspense in "The One-Armed Man", set in the busy office of a cotton gin in l928. The blustering proprietor (John Blevins) smugly boasts of his accomplishments and financial acumen, all the while berating his bookkeeper Pinky (Michael McGee), a poor shlep who can't seem to keep his head above water when it comes to paying his own bills. But the tune soon changes when Mr. Big Shot encounters a desperate man who blames the boss for his work-related injury. A time bomb of a one-acter. The set by Jeff Whitman invokes the period to the minutest detail and the lighting by Derrick McDaniel is most effective. By virtue of sublime casting, director Scott Paulin extracts amazing performances from every lst one of his actors. The Texas twang, the body language, with every move perfectly calibrated and the 30s and 40s sound track, all contribute to a theAtrical treat. A fitting tribute to the playwright, who, at age ninety-one, is still actively involved in the productions of his plays currently in New York, Chicage, in Texas and, of course, as we applaud them here, in California. Lost Studio Theatre, 130 S. La Brea, upstairs (between 3rd Street and Beverly Boulevard, Los Angeles. Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 4 p.m.. $20 (800) 595-4849 or www.harrisontexas.org. 2/17

Pre-Performance Dining Suggestion: On the corner of the very same block is the SONORA CAFE, recommended by the director (thanks, Scott). Make your way through the hoping bar scene to the very tasteful dining room for some excellent South Western cuisine. Blue cornbread and thin cheese toast will quickly disappear while you check out the menu. For an unusual starting nibble, may I suggest the zucchini blossom and mushroom quesadilla $12. Delish! To wash that down, a half bottle of Stephen Ross Chardonnay from California's Edna Valley, is suitable. A Margarita, or two, isn't out of the question, either. Loved the crab, spinach and wild mushroom enchilada with a silken lobster sauce $21 as well as the chochinita pibil, chunks of pork - we should all be so lean - baked in banana leaf, Yucatan style, served here with the leaf as doily, $22. Super service, nice atmosphere. The coffee, regrettably, tAsted as bitter as unrequited love but they quickly took it off the bill. If you dine before the show, you may even luck into a street parking space and only have a few steps to walk. Sonora Cafe, 180 S. La Brea Avenue, Los Angeles, (323)857-1800. Full bar.=

Orson's Shadow
By Austin Pendleton
Based on actual situations, this play brings together two legendary artists, Orson Wells and Laurence Olivier, whose reputations and performances have inspired actors and theatre buffs world wide. Here we see them back stage, rehearsing, bickering, joking and interacting with persons who were close to them. Vivien Leigh, the neurotic, tormented wife whose Scarlett O'Hara role made her name a household word. Joan Plowright, Olivier last wife, a fine actress who fine actress who survives to this day. Finally there's Kenneth Tynan, the influential, eccentric English critic, the sort of reviewer who relished attacking the sacred cows of the theater, many feel, to create controversy and thus further his own career. Direction is by Damasco Rodgrigues, a young lion who earned an impressive reputation as the producing and artistic director of The Furious Theatre Company in the upstairs space of the Playhouse. The casting is remarkable, particularly in the physical resemblance department. Charles Shaughnessy as Olivier captures the slightly effeminate vocal inflections and stance with every line and gesture. Sharon Lawrence bears a striking resemblance to the delicate, beautiful Vivien, especially in profile. Orson Wells, as portrayed by Bruce McGill, a character actor familiar to movie goers, is totally convincing, a big man with a big voice, struggling t regain the fame he once achieved with Citizen Kane. As Tynan, Scott Lowell, holding the ever resent cigarette between his middle and ring finger as was his wont, stammering, coughing and spouting invectives, is first rate. Personally,I feel that actors should make believe they're smoking instead of befouling the auditorium with the stench of cigarettes, herbal or otherwise. Orson's cigar remains unlit, thank heavens, and it's just as effective. All the actors do an admirable job, including Nick Cernoch as an Irish gofer. The play is interesting only as an historical vignette. There's amusing dialogue but I find it incongruous, in fact, somewhat disillusioning to hear these illustrious thespians use gutter language in private, especially around 1960, when four letter words were not bandied about as carelessly as they are now. Pasadena Playhouse, 39 El Molin Avenue, Pasadena. Tuesday - Friday 8 p.m. Saturday 4 and 8 p.m., Sunday 2 and 7 p.m. Dark 2/6 and 2/13 in the evening. There's a matinee on Wednesday 2/6 at 2 p.m. $25 - $65. (626)356-PLAY or www.pasadenaplayhouse.org. - 2/17

Pre-performance Dining Suggestion: The Pasadena prestigious cooking school's restaurant, called 561 is just a block away and it's always exciting to see and taste what our future celerity chefs are up to. They are trained to serve, do sommelier duty as befits the fine wines and experience every phase of the hospitality industry. Service is exemplary. Crumbs are brushed off the white tablecloths with alacrity, water glasses refilled,. the delicious olive tapenade replenished but I miss the "sous cloche" presentation, when they used to set entrees beneath silver domes before you and remove the covers with military precision. It also helped to keep the food hot. Prices have risen sharply since my last visit and portions appear to have shrunk. An appetizer, a roulade of rabbit, presumably from a baby bunny, was microscopic. But it was also exquisitely tasty, rolled around minced Serrano ham and a labor intensive, photogenic preparation, $15. The tender, moist duck breast with a confit of fennel, covered with a sherry-miso aspic "skin" and a couple of fried salsify stalks, looked and tasted good but also seemed a little lonely on the plate, $26. The veal shank gulyas, sAme price, caught my eye, especially since the current chef-instructor's name is Matthew Zboray,I suspected some Hungarian ancestry. Beautifully arranged around the upright bone, the osso buco as it were, with an authentic paprika sauce and little spaetzle in the Hungarian national colors of red, green and white. The meat was tender as a good night kiss but too many fatty pieces were included. I mentioned that after dinner and they took it off the bill, I might add. The room has a quiet elegance, the home baked bread assortment is a winner, you always get a complimentary amuse bouche in the beginning and a bonus of migniardises (sweet little bites) at the end, so it's worth an occasional splurge. "561", 561 Green Street, Pasadena (626)495-1561. (Closed Saturday and Sunday)

The End of the Tour
By Joel Drake Johnson
A slice of life, perfectly rendered on stage by an ensemble that involves the audience from the first scene to the final curtain. We're in Dixon, Illinois, the home town of Ronald Reagan and the story unfolds on a set divided into three locations. In the kitchen of a modest home, two men, Tommy (Michael Dempsey) and Chuck (Tom Knickerbocker), lament their failed marriages. They manage to bond over a few bottles of beer and are both funny and endearing. Tom's wife Jan (Rhonda Aldrich), an embittered school teacher has had to place her pistol of a mother (Gwen Van Dam) into a nursing home temporarily, because of an injured ankle. The old harridan has been a cold, selfish mom, now given to mood swings and memories of past glamor as a chanteuse who once sang for President Reagan. They await a reluctant visit from Andrew (Scot Burklin), the gay son, who brings along his lover David (Albie Selznizk). The return to Andrew's home town both endangers and strengthens their relationship and these two attractive, young actors excel in their touching, well modulated portrayals. As Jan, Aldrich's struggle between dutiful daughter and her feelings of repressed resentment is gut wrenching and Van Dam is fascinating to watch as we pity her one moment and would gladly strangle her in the next. Expertly directed by Heather Dara Williams and created with a skilled hand by an acclaimed playwright,this is a terrific show. The story pulls no punches in its depiction of a family under great stress but when you leave, you'll feel uplifted and ready to root for each and every one of the characters. The Road Theater Comany, 5108 Lankershim Boulevard (inside the Lankershim Art Çenter, No. 6108), near Magnolia, North Hollywood. Thursday - Saturday 8 p.m., Sunday 2 p.m. $25. (818) 761-8838, (866)811-4111 or www.roadtheatre.org. - 3/8.

Pre-performance Dining Suggestion: I ventured slightly further afield than usual, a twelve to fifteen minute drive,to visit tHE WINE BISTRO, a fine French restaurant that's been in this location for thirty years. The current owner, J.B. Touton, has been the friendly front man for a decade and a half. You'll know him by his cool dreadlocks. In charge of the kitchen is the new partner-chef, Peter Roelant, whose impeccable pedigree shows up with every fork-full. Swiss trained, he worked for Freddy Girarddet, the demi-god of haute cuisine, did a stint at the late L'Orangerie and owned the lush Cafe Four Oaks atop Beverly Glen. That's where I first encountered his cooking and decided to follow him anywhere - within a reasonable driving distance of a play I'm reviewing. The place is classy but not snobbish. You see Valley casual at one table and Parisian chic at another. When the weather warms up, there's a sidewalk patio. French food has not fared well on the local dining scene so it's good to know that all your favorites await you here and at prices that are not intimidating. We shared an order of moules bouchet, a type of mussel similar to the French bivalves, black beauties witting in a creamy broth of white wine, shallots, a pinch of saffron,a soupcon of mustard and the secret ingredient, a splash of Pernod. There you have it, spoon up, dip-up, lick-out good, $11,to start. The pork loin, lean and thinly sliced, had been marinated in bourbon, to blissful perfection, in the good company of creme fraiche enriched mashed potatoes topped with melted gruyere, $21. On the blackboard was a special of calves' liver I couldn't resist. The word cholesterol was not coined n my early youth and mother always said "it's good for you. According to Chef Peter, calves liver is healthier then beef, pork or chicken livers and is served to recuperating patients in hospitals, for its nutritive value, so there. It was prepared in the French manner, with red wine vinegar, pink within and wonderful, accompanied by mashers and lightly sauteed, fresh spinach sprinkled with perfectly crisp bacon. A forbidden pleasure for $22.50? Why not! From the well assembled French/California wine list, we picked California Chardonnays, a Mia and a Turner Ridge, $10 and $7.50 a glass, respectively. The staff is accommodating and the two young lady runners really cute. The Wine Bistro, 11915 Ventura Boulevard near Laurel Canyon, Studio City. Valet parking $3.50. (818)766-6233

Smuin Ballet San Francisco: The Christmas Ballet
First off, I have to say that this is my favorite American ballet company whose founder, director, primary choreographer and life force Michael Smuin. died several months ago. It fills me with pride to tell you that they are carrying on, not just bravely but brilliantly, under the leadership of Çelia Fushille - Burke, the new artistic director and long time associate of Smuin's. Rather than sitting through yet another Nutcracker, hurry to experience this exhilarating celebration of the season. Presented in two parts, the first act,Classical Christmas, is danced primarily to traditional carols. The ensemble, garbed in white, elegantly leaps, twirls and sways its way through music (recorded) by Bach, Palestrina, Monteverdi etc., cleverly incorporating spirited ballet versions of the hora and celtic step-dancing. Act two introduces a Cool Christmas of modern dance. The costumes, now a vibrant red (all designed by Sandra Woodall), the tunes gleaned from Benny Goodman, The Chieftains, Willie Nelson and many others. Again, outstanding dancing by corps and soloists. The audience favorite was the solo, SAnta Baby, sung, by, natch, Eartha Kitt, to Michael Smuin's habitually witty and sexy choreography. The performance ends in a flurry of snow flakes to the strains of White Christmas. Several of the pieces were choreographed by members of the company: Amy Seiwert, Robert Sund, Shannon Hurlburt and Celia Fushille-Burke. Smuin Ballet will continue to flourish, inspired by its dancers. Michael is looking on from above, applauding and shouting "bravo!", as loud as we are. Christmas Ballet, Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 700 Howard Street at Third, San Francisco. Wednesday - Saturday 8 p.m., matinees on the 22nd and 23rd at 2 p.m. $18 - $55 Box Office (415)978-2787; information (415)495-2234 ext. 0 or www.smuinballet.org. Street parking is well nigh impossible. There are public garages located on Mission Street between 4th and 5th and on 3rd, between Howard and Folsom.Good luck! Take the bus, the Muni runs until ll p,m, Info (415)673-MUNI. - 12/23 Note:The Christmas Ballet will be performed in Carmel on December 28th at 8 pm and on December 29th at 2 and 8 p.,. The Smuin Ballet's Spring Program Dancin' with Gershwin premieres on May 2, 2008 at the Yerba Buena Center, on May 16th in Walnut Creek, on May 28th in Mountain View and on June 6th in Carmel. (415)495-2234 or www.smuinballet.org.

Pre-performance Dining Suggestion: Across the street from the Yerba Buena Center is the skyscraper-like Hotel W and on the ground floor, its very sharp and stylish Restaurant XYZ, a winning destination not only for convenience but for its excellence of service by their well trained personnel. The contemporary cuisine is rife with imagination and prices are not stratospheric. I can vouch for two entrees, both in the low twenties. A fresh Alaskan skatefish mounted upon perfectly cooked, baby red chard, with mushrooms and cranberry beans is light and lovely, Lamb ragu, coarsely shopped meat bits, lovingly braised and served over papardelle pasta had that wonderful, long-simmered flavor that makes it an ideal dish at this time of year. They have an incredible wine list of breadth and depth, with Wine Spectator Awards to prove it. On the back of your ballet ticket is an offer you won't want to refuse, any bottle at half price. But you'll still be dropping heavy bucks because the lowest priced California Chardonnay is $40. XYZ, Hotel W, 181 Third Street at Howard, San Francisco. (415)8177836. Three hours validated parking for $12, any additional time, $14 per hour.

THE LAST SCHWARTZ
By Deborah Zoe Laufer
The pater familias has died and according to Jewish custom, one year later the unveiling of his gravestone brings together the Schwartz family members. Arriving at the old, now empty homestead in the Catskills, is Norma (Valerie Perri), in a perfect portrayal of a Jewish balabusta who desperately hangs on to tradition; her autistic,nearly blind brother Simon (Tim Cummings), who's space-y in more ways than one, Herb (Alan Safier) and his unhappy wife Bonnie (Pamela Gaye Walker, who thinks of herself as old, fat and frumpy but is none of the above and is a consummate actress. The last to arrive is Gene (Roy Abramson) who's in show biz. He unexpectedly brings his shiksah Goddess girlfriend Kia (Steffany Huckaby), an absolutely ravishing blonde starlet who, in spite of her Valley girl vocabulary is smarter than she looks and knows exactly what she wants out of life. She's a delight to watch. Under the sharp direction of Lee Sankovich, the performances of the entire, most talented cast, couldn't be better. The siblings disagree on almost every issue and the dialogue is so entertaining, ones interest never flags in how these characters will finally resolve their seemingly insurmountable differences. I enjoyed myself so much, I am anxiously awaiting a local production of playwright Laufer's other works, Fortune, Out of Sterno and her newest, End Days. Zephyr Theatre, 7456 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles. Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday 2 and 7 p.m. $25 - $30. (323)960-7789. Valet parking available next door at Antonio's Mexican Restaurant for $5. - 12/9 Note: Dark through the holidays but will reopen in the same location from January 4 until February 24 2008. New hours: Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. Sunday at 2 p.m.

Pre-theatre Dining Suggestion:
Directly across the street is GOODFELLAS, a New York Italian restaurant with a raffish sense of humor. Their awning reads Great Food? Great service? Forgetaboutit! You walk in over the outline of a dead body on the floor. The lighting is bordello red. Check out the Mafia themed menu. Little garlicky rolls make their appearance at once and prices are very fair. Appetizers from $6.75 for calamari fritti to $10.75 for mussels in white wine and garlic broth. The seafood arrabiata in spicy tomato sauce is chockfull of mussels, shrimp, clams etc. and a value at $17.75. New York steak with mushroom sauce is generously portioned, although you may have to do more cutting and trimming than a busy barber. Included are mashed potatoes and very fresh, crisp veggies. all for $18.95. Don't believe what you read on their awning... Goodfellas, 7455 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles. (323)658-6622. Beer and wine. Valet parking available at Antonio's (see above).

Third
By Wendy Wasserstein
Wendy Wasserstein, who gave us The Heidi Chronicles and The Sisters Rosensweig among others, died last year at age fifty-five. This is her last lay, a West Coast premiere, starring the wonderful Christine Lahti as a professor in an elite New England college. She's a fire-breathing feminist and a crusading liberal, at odds with the current administration. She rails against the news of war in Iran, which is just staring as the play begins. Lahti embroils the role with great passion as a teacher who tries to foster progressive social justice and radical thinking in her students. Yet, she has the contradictory habit of name-dropping the illustrious halls of academe with which she has been associated. And, she has quite a few problems of her own, including a father, the venerable M. Emmet Walsh,who is in the throes of Alzheimer's and refuses to go gentle into the good night. She develops as instant dislike toward a student in her Elizabethan Drama class, called Woodson Bull III, whom she calls Woody but he prefers the nickname Third, the raffish, captivating Matt Czuchry. He comes from a privileged family, is smart, good looking and a jock, whose career goals she does not consider lofty enough and whose term paper on King Lera is so brilliant, she accuses him of plagiarism. The dialogue is consistently stimulating, the cast uniformly fine - you will recognize some familiar T.V faces. The sets are beautifully desiigned by Vince Mountain - they don't do anything on a shoestring here - and allow for a smooth as silk production, directed by Maria Mileaf. I definitely enjoyed this lay and you will, too. Geffen Playhouse, 10886 Le Conte Avenue, „Westwood. Tuesday - Thursday 7:30 p,m,, Friday 8 p.m., Saturday 4 and 8:30 p.m., Sunday 2 and 7 p.m. $40 - $74 (310)208-5454. - 10/28

Pre-performance Dining Suggestion: Taking advantage of our Indian summer, how's this for an idea? Next door to the Geffen is RALPH'S FRESH FARE MARKET, with a deli counter full of prepared goodies and tables and chairs out on their terrace, overlooking Le Conte. To start, you might share a treat from the cold case, fresh seafood ceviche marinated in lime juice and fiery spices, $5.99. Don't like it hot? There's a nice looking duck paté for $9.99 a pound. The baked, crumbed chicken Florentine stuffed with spinach $4.99 per pound, or a slice of torta rustica (cheese and cold cuts neatly stacked en croute), approximately $3.75 per slice, make tasty entrees and they'll heat them for you on the spot. Greek salad with feta cheese , costs $6.99 a pound. Now over to the pastry counter for their exquisite, hand made desserts, only $3.45 each. The chocolate domed zuccoto and the hazelnut crunch, larger than the usual petit four, are divine and a Coffee Bean is on the premises. The check for our tw dinners was in the neighborhood of $25. If that's your kind of neighborhood, bon appetit! Be advised to take a number right away and expect slow service. The place is crowded with hungry U.C.L.A. students, so allow lots of time even though all you have to do is walk a few steps to the theatre. Ralph's Fresh Fare Market, 10861 Weyburn Avenue, Westwood. (310) 524-5994.

Video Reviews
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Equilibrium
Ghost Ship
The Ring
Red Dragon
Auto Focus
Bowling for Columbine
City By The Sea
The Four Feathers
Bad Company
Full Frontal
Frailty
In the Bedroom
Iris
Star Wars—Attack of the Clones
Pinero
Simone
The Importance of Being Earnest
World Traveler

Ingrid Wilmot Rates Current
Southern California Theater

Twice Upon a Time
Written and directed by Ray Cooney
Theatre buffs who've laughed their way through Run for Your Wife, Move over Mrs. Markham, Funny Money and the many other comedies penned by Ray Cooney, called the Master of British Farce, will undoubtedly want to check out his first musical presented by South Bay Cities' acclaimed Civic Light Opera. It's their first world premiere and the excitement is in high decibel.
The story is a time-travel tale of London lawyer (Brandon Michael Perkins) who, under hypnosis to cure his smoking habit by Dr. Patel (Danny Bolero in authentic sing-song voice), reverts to his former life as a Chicago gangster in the year 1928. Perkins gives a fine physical and vocal performance but, like some of the other actors in dual roles, he occasionally lapses into the wrong trans-Atlantic accent. Even though he is currently engaged to Barbara (the statuesque Jennifer Malenke), the daughter of his tyrannical boss (Robert Machray), he falls for Ruby (petite Misty Cotton), the moll of a Chicago mobster named Bugs Moran (Sam Zeller). The production is fast-moving; the intricate sets designed by Christopher Beyries switch without a hitch from the past to the present and back again. On opening night the miking left something to be desired, with about one third of the witty lyrics by Mary Stewart-David unintelligible. The music, by Chris Walker, has plenty of snappy tunes. It starts out with a ragtime melody that could easily have been composed by Scott Joplin and toward the finale I thought I detected a number reminiscent of West Side Story's Officer Krupke song. In between there are some ballads, notably Deep in My Heart, sung very well by Ruby, which has the makings of a hit.

Among the scattered dance numbers choreographed by Karen Novicki, the applause getter is the Rat-A-Tat Rag, performed by the criminal element, led by Zeller as Bugs, a big teddy bear of a man with nimble feet, a terrific stage presence and a powerful voice. Veteran performer Millicent Martin is a loveable old lady whose property stands in the way of a shopping center development, which is another link in the convoluted plot. Lanky Kevin Symond plays a despicable scheming business associate but somehow manages to let his simpatico persona shine through. The play unabashedly strives for laughs, with a swishy caterer (Matt Bezmarevich) and a tippling mother in-law (Monica Smith) thrown in for good measure. Before heading to London and eventually Broadway a good amount of honing, polishing, and especially trimming would seem to be in order. As of now, it's a cute light weight musical and there's always an appearance by the irrepressibly enthusiastic James Blackman III, the company's executive Director/Producer, who puts everyone in a laughing mood before the curtain goes up.

Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center, 1935 Manhattan Beach Blvd. at Aviation Blvd. , Redondo Beach. Tuesday- Saturday 8:00 P.M., Saturday and Sunday matinees at 2:00 P.M. $45.00-$60.00. Parking lot. (310) 372-4477 or www.civiclightopera.com -3/2

Pre-Performance Dining Suggestion: The stretch surrounding this theatre is a gastronomic desert, but Rosecrans Avenue is just minutes away. For excellent seafood you can't beat MCCORMICK & SCHMICK, a successful corporation based in Oregon. They operate their own fishing fleet and the accent is on fresh, fresh fish. Whatever swims in any part of the world is sure to land in one of their nets. In the appetizer section, there's the intricate crab tower, with Dungeness crab from the Northern coast, avocado, sprouts, a plethora of diced mango and an utter lack of seasonings, $13.95. From New Zealand they fly in a perfect sea bass, unfortunately accompanied by a truly abominable seaweed salad, the only disappointment at our table. Scallops from New Bedford, Massachusetts couldn't have been better sitting upon a crisp potato cake and sautéed spinach, $24.95. Praise is also due the combo of crab and shrimp cakes, $22.95. And, I really loved my San Francisco Dover sole, not to be confused with the local product, this one firm-fleshed and succulent, stuffed with blue crab. Sounds good, was even better. It comes with mashers and the most al dente veggies; I had to cut the broccoli with a knife. Altogether excellent, $26.95. They have a lovely wine selection, polite service and beautiful surroundings in multi-room groupings with leaded glass, rich woods, and soothing lighting.
McCormick & Schmick, 2101 Rosecrans Avenue, El Segundo. Full Bar. Open daily, free parking in the adjoining garage building. (310) 416-1123

The Catholic Girl's Guide to Losing your Virginity
By Annie Hendy
The play opens with a couple in a hot embrace among a cloud of satin pillows, who are thisclose to making love, so I thought we would see the story in flashbacks. Instead, our heroine Lizzy (playwright Annie Hendy) gets cold feet and, addressing the audience, tells us that she's a twenty-five year old virgin who is saving herself for marriage. However, finding out that her priest's sex life is a lot more exciting than her own, spends the rest of the play trying to get laid.
All her would-be lovers are portrayed by Cyrus Alexander and he is a veritable chameleon as he changes costumes, voice, demeanor and accents, morphing into an Italian stallion gym rat, a Tai Chi health nut, a compulsive gambler, a shoe fetishist, among many more. Hendy, as the love and sex-starved Lizzy, looks like the wholesome, bright eyed, corn-fed Midwestern girl that she is, with a permanent grin and energy to spare. The play appeals primarily to the dating crowd and judging by the reaction of the giggling, thirty-something audience, hits an empathetic mark. The multi-media production directed by Eli Conda, performed without intermission, never lags; set design is by Tom Buderwitz. Forgive me for quibbling, but couldn't costume designer Cynthis Obsenares have come up with a more flattering outfit for Hendy, who wears the same drab duds whether she;s attending a wedding, confession or speed-dating. The old Century City Playhouse has been beautifully spruced up, you wouldn't recognize it as the former home of the long running mega-hit, Bleacher Bums.
Pico Playhouse, 10508 W. Pico Boulevard, West Los Angeles, near Century City. Thursday - Saturday 8 p.m. $17.50 - $20 (866) 811-4111 or www.theatermania.com. - 3/1

Pre-Performance Dining Suggestion: Walk across the street, about a block and half west of the theatre to KAY'N DAVE'S CANTINA, where they pride themselves on zero transfat, lardless , healthy cooking. The important part, as far as I'm concerned, is that it's tasty and they get full marks for that. As mentioned on the menu, the food "prevents you from collapsing into the traditional post-Mexican meal siesta" - very desirable when you're headed for the theatre. All your favorite carnitas, fajitas, tacos, burritos, salads and entrees are reasonably priced. Fresh salsa, chips and picante, pickled vegetables are at table. A savory spinach-mushroom-onion quesadilla, with additional diced, skinless chicken breast is $13, with home made guacamole and sour cream. I couldn't resist the nightly fish special, blackened tilapia over a generous tossed salad of baby greens, sure to make Mr. Blackwell's Best Dressed List, $16. This cantina is high ceilinged, pleasantly lit, has a fire place and is kid friendly, The artwork that covers every inch or wallspace is by the children of steady customers and service is exceptionally nice. In the back is a lush, romantic, heated patio. Relax with a good-sized glass of Acacia Chardonnay or Margaritas and Mojitos of every description for your sipping pleasure.
Kay 'n Dave's Cantina, 10543 W. Pico Boulevard, West Los Angeles (310) 446-8808.

Almost, Maine
by John Cariani
In case you don't arrive in time to read the Playwright's Notes in your program, know that the mythical town of Almost would be located in the uppermost region of the State of Maine. When the Northern Lights streak across the sky occasionally, the inhabitants react in a strange, frequently amorous manner to this natural phenomenon. The action takes place on just such a night, a Friday, at 9 p.m. and the play is performed in eleven vignettes, involving almost twenty different characters, portrayed by four wonderful, heavily bundled up, actors (Caroline Kinsolving, Louis Lotorto, Donald Sage Mackay and Dee Ann Newkirk) and is directed by David Rose. The stage set is a snow-covered, wintry landscape, so realistically rendered by designers MacAndMe, the chill reaches all the way into the audience. A couple on a bench engages in an inane conversation and you wonder what you've gotten yourself into, this time. But, trust me, this play grows on you and by the time you've seen one droll episode after another, almost always culminating in an impromptu kiss, you're completely charmed. This is a small, blue-collar town, most of the men work at the local mill, hang out at the same pub and share the laughter, romance, heartbreaks, dating disasters and marital frustrations with the rest of us in the other forty-nine states - except that these people are so endearing, you, too, will want to rush up on stage and give each of them a big buss, even without an aurora borealis to affect you.
Colony Theatre, 555 N.Third at Cypress, Burbank. Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 2 and 7 p.m. Additional Saturday matinees February 16 and 23 at 3 p.m. and Thursday February 28 and March 6 at 8.p.m. $37 - $42. Senior and student discounts available. Free parking in building garage. (818)558-7000 or wwwcolonytheatre.org). -3/9

Pre-Performance Dining Suggestion: A ten minute drive north on the Golden State Freeway, just west of the Hollywood Way off-ramp is GARY BRIC'S RAMP RESTAURANT AND LOUNGE, a neighborhood hangout you'll be glad to discover. Consistently voted the Best Steak House by the Burbank Leader, it has a homey, retro feel. The cozy, free-form room with walls of knotty pine and used brick, is always filled with regulars who look for a good deal, professional service, big portions and decent prices. A New York pepper steak will set you back a mere $22.95 and it's not looking lonesome on the plate, either. You get not only an over-flowing bowl of soup or a big salad but also a fresh vegetable and choice of rice, fries, baked or a delicious stuffed potato. Beat that, high priced, fancy chains! Since they also scored high in the seafood division, we ordered a blackened catfish which was beautifully moist and mild tasting, for only $15.95. They're so old school, the broccoli was drizzled with Hollandaise sauce. Haven't seen that for a while! A bottle of Chardonnay, either Central Coast Mirassou or Washington State's Columbia Crest, is $19, another rare sighting.
Gary Bric's Ramp, 7730 N. Hollywood Way, beside the 5 Freeway, Burbank. Full bar. Parking lot. (818) 768-6499..

Leading Ladies
By Ken Ludwig
Politics getting on your nerves? Your kids giving you grief? Stock market a constant source of anxiety? Let Dr. Wilmot prescribe the age-old remedy - laughter! If you've seen Ludwig's earlier Lend Me A Tenor, you know you're in for a screwball farce. This one is about Leo and Jack, two Shakespearean thespians whose waning careers and diminishing earnings lead them to take their act to the boonies of Pennsylvania. When they learn about a rich, dying old lady who is leaving her fortune to two relatives whom she has never met, they decide to assume the identities of the two "nephews", only to find out, in the nick of time, that Max and Steve stands for Maxine and Stephanie. They're forced to dress up as women and the fun begins. This is pure slapstick at its broadest and the material of often on the weak side but the play is worth seeing for the antics of R. Christopher Sands, whose performance, in drag, in HMS Pinafore several years ago, will never fade from my memory. He mugs flamboyantly and unflinchingly switches from male to female impersonation with Swiss clockwork timing. The second banana, Tim Coultas, is not to be ignored either and he rewards us with a comic romp from start to finish, as he is pursued by male admirers, Stan Kelly as the doctor who administers to the reluctant aunt (Betsey Stevens), the doc's son (Matt Dolgin) and in the persona of Jack, by the overly energetic Audrey (Jen Gabbert). Elaine Capogeannis plays the love interest, currently engaged to an uptight minister (Frank Dooley) but her heart is soon stolen by...can you guess? Ken Salzman directs, Lois Tedrow created the outrageous costumes. Sierra Madre Playhouse, 87 W. Sierra Madre Boulevard, Sierra Madre. Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 2:30 p.m.. $20, students and seniors $17. (626) 256-3809 or www.sierramadretheatre.org. Free parking behind the theatre. - 2/23

Pre-performance Dining Suggestion: Park your car and walk town toward Baldwin Avenue and around the corner is LOZANO,this quaint, little town's most famous restaurant. The decor isn't much to write home about, it's neat, has white cloths with a votive candle on the table, assorted, odd looking tchotkes on the wall, is noisy but very popular because f what comes out of the kitchen. Wines are reasonable, Kendall-Jackson lovely Chardonnay is $30. A few white wines are in the twenties, reds are in a slightly higher bracket. The menu has global appeal, slow roasted brisket $20, hanger steak with tomato-pepita salad $21, Mexican chilaquiles $18, Italian style scampi, plump, crunchy shrimp in white wine and lemon sauce with lots of capesr over linguine, glowingly spiced with red chili flakes $21. If the thought of the Caribbean gives you a warm feeling just about now, I recommend the Jamaican jerk chicken, perfectly marinated, , daubed with tingling cilantro-lime cream, alongside good, veggie-flecked rice, black beans and refreshing jicama slaw, $22. Service is gracious but bread is not included in the dinner prices. Lozano, 44 N. Baldwin Avenue at Sierra Madre Boulevards, Sierra Madre. (626) 355-5945. Beer and wine. Closed Sunday.

The Monkey Jar
by Richard Martin Hirsch
This excellent, powerful play revolves around an incident, all too common these days, of a fifth grade student in possession of a gun. The school is in a prosperous, West Los Angeles neighborhood, whose first African-American principal (the imposing Robert Reese), has to deal with the volatile situation of law and order versus the reputation of the prestigious, private school. Here, parental involvement is a high priority, PTA meetings are S.R.O,. and fundraising is forever on the agenda. The parents (Salli Safidi and Richard Horvitz ), the latter an attorney with a very short fuse, are faced with the possible expulsion of their son (Josh Ogner alternating with Sekai Murashige), a struggling student under the tutelage of a relentless teacher (Henry Hayashi). A sympathetic phsychologist (the gifted Amy Tolsky), is brought in to investigate the whys and wherefores of the shocking event. Comic relief is provided by the knows-all, sees-all, tells-all president of the P.T.A. (the saucy Addie Baddio). The attractive, functional set by Jeff G. Rack, moves easily to various locations, thanks to fleet-footed cast members and effective lighting by Meghan Hong. This is a multi-layered work, with racial and religious overtones and bruised egos in a fascinAting turn of events. To tell you more would take the edge off your enjoyment but let me just say that the title comes from a South American artifact on the principals' desk, whose significance is explained in due course. Do not miss this world premiere by an award-winning playwright, under the astute direction of Warren Davis. TheAtre 40, on the campus of Beverly Hills High School, 241 Moreno Drive, adjacent to Century City, off Little Santa Monica Boulevard, Beverly Hills. Monday through Sunday 8 p.m., Saturday and Sunday matinees at 2 p.m. $20 - $25. (310) 364-0535 or www.theatre40.org. Free parking in building garage. Note: Plays in repertory with Another Vermeer. Monkey Jar dates are: February 11, 12, 15, l6, 17, 20, 21, 25, 26 and 29; March 1, 2, 5 and 6.

Pre-Performance Dining Suggestion: Less than a five minute drive, takes you to RONI'S, a cute, little spot with a faux brick wall, dark wood furnishings and what are probably the best prices in all of Beverly Hills. A tossed salad (greens, diced tomatoes, shredded carrots etc.) or a bowl of soup, on my night a hearty chili-vegetable, courageously seasoned, are yours for an extra $3.25 with dinner. There are chicken breast preparations galore for $11.95 And if the piccata with lemon and artichoke butter is an indication, you can't go wrong with any of them. It came with nice, lumpy masher that had home-made written all over them and mixed, fresh vegetable, ingeniously grilled to retain their crispness and still have that good char-coaled flavor. The Asian style salmon, oven-baked and toped with planko crumbs was fine as well, if a little bit skimpy by compArison, for $16.95. Same veggies and a mound of white rice included. Service is most pleasant and a glass of Mirassou Chardonnay with god body and a fruity finish is only $7. Roni's Diner, 9911 Little Santa Monica Boulevard, Beverly Hills. (310)772-0044. Beer And wine. Open daily for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Pick of the Vine - Original Short Plays
This intrepid Company consistently delivers remarkable stuff and this year's Pick is no exception. Culled from hundreds of submissions, the nine plays on the bill represent human experiences and emotions in all their vagaries. There's poignance in "Normal" by Jami Brandli, as a frustrated father (the excellent Thor Edgell) tries to coax his son out of a tree top. Whimsey, in "In the Jar" by Mark Harvey Levine, about six trapped insects and dead-on humor in "Unhealthy Appetites" by Steven Korbar, which has two young vegans (Erich Whitaker and Isaak Nippert ) hilariously combating the late night munchies plus a half do?en others, each with its own charm, element of surprise and uniformly fine acting. The sets cleverly utilize the small space effectively and an entertaining quiz about the City of San Pedro fills the short time between plays. This 2008 harvest is premium vintage, full of sweet grapes - no sediment. It's worth a try on any Freeway that eventually leads to this unique port city. Little Fish Company, 777 Centre Street, between 7th and 8th, San Pedro. Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. Sunday performances at 7 p.m. on 1/27 and 2/3, one Thursday performance on 2/7 at 8 p.m. $22, seniors $20. Dinner/show packages available. (310) 512-6030. Free parking in back, enter through the alley. -2/9

Pre-Performance Dining Suggestion: Why not try the new GYPSY WAY in the space formerly occupied by Tio Oscar. You won't recognize the place, nicely spruced up and enlarged. They advertise Persian cuisine and BBQ, euphemisms for Iranian food, specializing in char-broiled meat, poultry, exotic stews and mountains of rice. The koobideh, ground chicken shaped like long sausages, is terrific and a good buy at $12.95. The barg is no bargain, $16.95 for a flat piece of beef, quite large but also somewhat grizzly, both, however, with excellent seasonings. Plates include hot pita bread and the above mentioned monumental mountain of rice sprinkled with saffron. Each entree comes with a piece of char-grilled bell pepper, onion and a broiled tomato. Since there's no sauce, I suggest mashing the tomato into the rice - works well. The wine selection is a bit shaky, at the moment only sold by the bottle. We sipped a Wild Bunch Chardonnay (never heard of it) from Amador County, not bad, $25. On weekends they have live music and an indefatigable belly dancer. Gypsy Way, 655 - 7th Street, San Pedro. (310)832-0402

Alice Sit By the Fire
by James M. Barrie
Author Barrie's best known work, Peter Pan, has been on stages and screens for generations but this one is new to most of us. It's an absolutely charming piece, written in the very early nineteen-hundreds and is up to the standards of excellence P.R.T. has always maintained. According to the program notes, Barrie's occasional cricket team mates included P.G. Wodehouse, A. A. Milne and George Bernard Shaw and wouldn't you love to have overheard their banter! He was knighted in 1913 and died childless. So it's all the more remarkable that he penned this insightful play, dealing with parenthood in all its mysteries and challenges. It's 1905 and Colonel and Mrs. Robert Gray are returning to London after a tour of military duty in Colonial India. As was customary then, their children remained in England rather than endure the tropical climes. Now the kids Await the folks' arrival with some trepidation, scarcely knowing them. They are hoping to please and be loved, as do the adroit father (Bruce French) and especially glamorous, flirtatious Alice (Alley Mills), relishing her brand new role as mother. The venerable Orson Bean as the playwright, appears before each act setting the scene and pointing out little details we might otherwise miss. All the performers, directed by Joe Olivieri, are superb. Zaftif Betty Wright as daughter Amy, a teenager whose vivid imagination is fired up by the bodice-ripping romance plays she attends, is a consummate actress. Neil McGowan asa bit of a nebbish, has the demeanor down pat. Kristina Harrison as his maid easily steals the short scene she's in. And the marvelous Alley Mills is mesmerizing as a mother whose wisdom and sly womanly wiles could inspire many a self-help book. Alice Sit by the Fire might be called a drawing room comedy but it's more than that. Besides humor and clever, little plot twists, it has subtle life lessons that are as pertinent today as they were in the "good old days". Pacific Resident Theatre, 705 1/2 Venice Boulevard, Venice. Thursday through Saturday 8 p,m, Sunday 3 p.m.. $25. (310)822-8392. Free parking in rear. - 2/10

Pre-Performance Dining Suggestion: Take a ten minute drive to PRIMITIVO WINE BISTRO, a chic and stylish spot with an attractive clientele. Above the bar at left of entrance, you can check out the nightly blackboard specials but they have very good, Always on the menu entrees. But for pre-theatre dining, nothing beats a nice assortment of tapas, in my book. Nibble on french bread with olive tapenade or spicy aioli in tiny cups while you pick your tapas which, by the way, are not inexpensive. We tucked into a substantial, authentic, hot paella with chicken, seafood and chorizo, dotted with green peas $14 and grilled Tunisian style lamb kabobs with tsatsiki (chopped cucumbers and yoghourt) as well as Israeli cous cous into which the chef had mixed some tabbouleh, $15. Two cold tapas, a ceviche of rock shrimp and scallops, decorated with endive leaves and a colorful grilled octopus salad in a rather mild dressing were $14 each. Would have been enough for three hungry people. There's a really impressive wine list, international in scope, from which we chose a flight of three, a Spanish, a German and one New Zealander, for a reasonable $13. Service was outstanding, our waiter really knew his wines and got us out in plenty of time for the show. Primitivo Wine Bistro, 1025 Abbot Kinney Boulevard, near Westminster, Venice. (310)396-5353.

Bob's Holiday Office Party
By Rob Elk and Joe Keyes
My guess is you've been t a few office parties in your day but none as crazy or, for that matter as noisy as this drink-a-thon. It's the annual happening at Neuterburg, a small town in a fly-over red state, hosted by the local insurance agent (co-authors Rob Elk). Attendees include the sheriff (co-author Joe Keyes), not exactly the embodiment of law'norder, the Johnson triplets (Linda Miller, Melissa Denton and Maile Flanagan), a trio of corn-fed Bushies, Marty, (lanky Craig Anton), a man whose accident record would drive any insurance man to drink, but who needs an excuse here? Into the party pops Carol (the inimitable Ann Randolph), looking like an escaped lunatic but she strums a mean guitar and sings a funny ditty. She subsequently doubles as the tow pump, who spreads her arms and legs at the drop of a beer can. Also celebrating are the Mayor (Danny Schmitz), a man of dubious sexual orientation and his frustrated wife (Andrea Hutchman). The surprise guest is Elwyn (Kyle Colerider-Krugh), called Stinky in High School, the kid everyone hated, who returns with an agenda of his own. This show is the cure for any saccharine holiday event you've ever had to endure and is in its 12th year in Los Angeles. It has become a cult classic whose loyal audience has almost as good a time as the hilarious cast. Playwright Justin Tanner directs with a sure hand. He has written a few cult classics of his own, Pot Mom, Party Mix, Coyote Woman etc., and is an expert at creating just the sort of raunchy characters who would fit right into this merry mayhem. The Lounge Theatre, 6201 Santa Monica Boulevard, Los Angeles, (one block east of Vine). Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. Sunday at 7 p.m. $25 (323)960-7714 or www.bobsofficeparty.com. - 12/16

Pre-performance Dining Suggestion: There's nothing within walking distance to recommend but less than a five minute drive is DUNA CSARDA, a Hungarian restaurant whose wonderful flavors will make your gypsy blood boil - whether you have any or not. Recently remodeled, the tables are decked with white napery, prices are comforting, Hungarian television is always on and their Mittel-European food is great. A perfect Wiener schnitzel that would cost you twice the price at Spago, is flanked by red cabbage and yummy potatoes, is $18.80. Order their crisp cucumber salad, authentic in every way, without a trace of sugar, $6.95. Veal goulasch, tender cubes in spicy paprika sauce is equally delicious, with spaetzle (firm, little dumplings),$14.95. With that, try a bottle of Lillei, a fruity Hungarian white wine with Chenin Blanc characteristics, $20. Bread and rolls are home baked and so are the desserts. A creamy Napoleon is $4.95 but for only one dollar more, you can experience that divine, seasonal confection, a chestnut torte. Extraordinary! Duna Csarda, 5820 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles. (323)962-6434. Beer and wine. Small parking lot in front.

Lessons
By Wendy Graf
I caught this most enjoyable play two years ago, on it very last performance, therefore I could not review it. But the producers promised me at the time, that they would bring it back, especially since the entire run was sold out. And, they've kept their word. The wonderful Hal Linden plays a "watered-down Jew", as he calls himself, who decides, late in life, to be Bar Mitzvah'd. He hires a young woman rabbi (Larissa Laskin), to teach him hebrew, which he can't even pronounce - it's quite comical. The rabbi is dealing with a number of big time tsuris (problems, more or less) in her own past and
there are "lessons" to be learned here on how we deal with our roots, faith and our humanity. This time, the play is directed by Gordon Davidson, a name familiar to every theatre lover. If you're Jewish and/or a fan of Hal Linden, don't miss this second chance. Lee Strasberg Center, MArilyn Monroe Theatre. 7936 Santa Monica Boulevard,, West Hollywood. Thursday - Saturday 8 p.m., Sunday 2:20 p.m. $35, seniors $32. Public parking lot on Orange Grove Boulevard, north of Santa Monica Boulevard. Valet parking available. (323)650-7777. - 12/23

Pre-performance Dining Suggestion:
Across the street, catty-corner, is CHA CHA CHA, specializing in contemporary Caribbean cuisine. I like their tapas whose prices are reasonable, from $4.95 to $10. We had shrimp with rice in black pepper sauce, mussels in white wine, with tomatoes and garlic, guacamole with chips and Jamaican jerk pork. For those who need something more substantial, they also have full entrees like paella in four different versions, from $13.95 to $19.95. Full orders of the shrimp go for $18.95, the jerk chicken for $15.95. There's a bistek Argentino, a N.Y. strip and pasta dishes. It's very convenient for one-stop parking but if you want to carry on a conversation, sit as far back in the room as possible. The bar crowd is having a wonderful time but they generally do it at the highest decibel.. Cha Cha Cha, 7953 Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood (323) 848-7700.

Mustang Sally
By Linda Felton Steinbaum
The topic of sexual involvement between teachers and students is straight out of the headlines and I expected a pungent account of an irresistibly sexy older woman seducing some horny schoolboy - or vice versa, perhaps? Sorry - wrong script. Instead, we get a timid, immature music teacher (Sally Conway), who acts, moves and dresses like an eighth grader (boo to costume designer Tina Rose), with twin ponytails and a little girl voice, who faces the dilemma of being madly in love with her thirteen year old male pupil. Her take-charge, glamorous, older sister (Andrea Conte). enlists an earnest lawyer friend (Michael Blain-Rozgay) to handle the case. They have to deal with a seemingly friendly colleague (Sean Vincent Biggins and a flamboyantly garbed Jesus freak of a mother (Tish Amiley), who don't help matters. The scenario becomes more dramatic toward the conclusion but the most complimentary comment about this play would be that it is short. The playwright confesses to having stumbled to her computer during bouts of insomnia and I admit to jotting most of the notes for this review in longhand, on the pad on my night stand. Maybe we both should have had a glass of warm milk and taken a sleeping pill... Whitefire Theatre, 13500 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks (three blocks east of Woodman). Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. Sunday at 2:30 p.m.$20 (866)811-4111 or www.theatermania.com. - 11/18

Pre-performance Dining Suggestion: A block and a half east of the theatre is MISTRAL, an old Valley favorite that has not lost its appeal. I phoned on a Thursday for an early Saturday evening reservation and could barely squeeze it. Sure enough, it was packed to the rafters by the time we left, which speaks well for the economy since prices are pretty posh. We shared a starter seafood salad with shredded greens, dressed to kill in a marvelous vinaigrette, $13.50. They split it in the kitchen without extra charge. A lamb shank is $26, bigger than the biblical jAwbone of an ass, truly excellent in an authoritative, dark jus, surrounded by cannellini beans and bedded upon slightly undercooked Swiss chard. Also recommended is the Niman Ranch pork,roasted medium well to retain full juiciness and its unique texture, $14 with red-skinned potatoes and the same chewy chard. Mistral is named for the hot winds that blow from Morocco all the way to the south of France and drives everyone a little crazy, not unlike our own Santa Anas. The noise level here is positively deafening but in its favor, the place has an old-world elegance with lovely chandeliers and a beautiful bouquet of fresh roses on the bar, romantic lighting and really, really Attentive, flawless service. Mistral, 13422 Ventura Boulevard, Sherman Oaks. Full bar. Valet parking $4 and you may leave your car there until after the show. (818)981-6650.

TOM, DICK AND HARRY
By Ray and Michael Cooney
Ray Cooney's name is synonymous with laughter (think Run for Your Wife which is probably playing in several English speaking countries at this moment). He has teamed up with his screen writer son Michael, to script this hilarious farce which is breaking up local audiences. It may not be everyone's cup of English tea but if you love British humor and need some cheering up, don't miss this one. Tom Kenmore, (the inimitably lithe and limber Brian Stanton) and his wife Linda, (the comely Christy Hall), whom, if she pitched her voice any higher, only a dog could heAr, are about to adopt a baby. They want to make a good impression on the agency worker Mrs. Potter (an ideally cast Kerry Michaels) but Tom's rascally brothers Dick (Nicholas Levene) and Harry (Jaime Tintor), arrive at this inopportune time to disirupt the household. And do they ever! Into this melee pops a suspicious constable (the priceless Max Foyer) and off we go on a merry-go-round of mishaps. The physical comedy is as broad as Trafalgar Square and played strictly for laughs, especially the antics of the goofy "uncle" (Lou Briggs) and his granddaughter (Jaime Andrews), two refugees from Kosovo. The rapid-fire zingers, sometimes a little naughty but never vulgar, are hysterical if not always easy to catch. Under the direction of Todd Nielsen, the timing is as accurate as Swiss clockworks. The smart living room design is by Matthew D. Egner. International City Theatre, Center Theatre of the Long Beach Performing Arts Center, 300 E. Ocean Blvd, Long Beach. Thursday - Saturday 8 p.m., Sunday 2 p.m. $32 - $42. (562) 436-4610 or www.ictlongbeach.org. - 11/18

Pre-performance Dining Suggestion: The hottest, recent culinary news in Long ieach is the arrival of TRACHT'S At the Ranaissance Hotel, located catty-corner from the Long ieach Performing arts complex. Celebrity chef Suzanne Tracht, owner of L.A.'s Jar, admired for her modern comfort food, now brings her talents to this port city. The room is lovely, with light fixtures that resemble huge orange slices, above the well-laid dining tables. If the weather is at all favorable though, the heated, glass-edged terrace, overlooking the Boulevard, with cantilevered umbrellas and a roaring fire pit, is ideal. The entire staff is positively lovable, the wine list upscale and the food prices geared to expense account, hotel dining. Salads from $7 to $9, entrees from $19 to $48 for a porterhouse for two, desserts $8. I don't mind paying $22 for Tracht's famous, signature pot roast, which is probably the best n the planet, except YOUR mother's, of course. It comes with a horseradish sauce boat which will clear your nostrils of any soot or smoke we have recently inhaled. What I don't like is that you have to fork over an extra $5 to $7, if you want some mashed potatoes, rice or a vegetable portion to go with it. I reluctantly ordered the sauteed pea shoots which were tasty but stringy. Lemongrass chicken with keffir lime leaf is only $19 but also looks very lonesome on the plate. Tracht's, Renaissance Long ieach Hotel, 111 E. Ocean Boulevard, Long Beach. Full bar. Two hours validated parking at Hotel entrance, thereafter $2 per half hour. Open daily (562)2533.

The Quality of Life
By Jane Anderson
A world premiere commissioned by the Geffen, this is a wonderfully absorbing story which, at the risk of sounding trite, tugs at your heartstrings while tickling your funny bone. And let me say right now, it is not, repeat, not depressing. We meet a couple in the throes of despair, trying to cope. Dinah (JoBeth Williams) and Bill (Scott Bakula), who live in Ohio and mourn the death of their only child. She is a brave soul, struggling to salvage her crumbling marriage to an uptight guy who, in his misery, clutches onto his Christian Fundamentalist religion like a drowning man grasping at a straw. They decide to visit her married cousin in Northern California, a middle-aged, hippie pair with a typical Marin County mentality, who also have a cross to bear. Jeanette (Laurie Metcalf) and Neil (Dennis Boutsikaris), have come to grips with his fatal illness and the added disaster of losing their home to a wildfire. They are more or less camping out among the ruins (the whimsical set is by Francois Pierre Couture), and are being sustained by their undying love for one another. To disclose any more would be doing a great disservice to the audience, other than to say that the all-star cast is outstanding and the play terrific. Direction is by the playwright herself, Jane Anderson (The Beby Dance, Looking for Normal). It takes an enormous talent to create hysterically funny situations amidst life's tragedies. When everyone in the front row jumps up for a standing ovation, you know it isn't because they can't see the stage, which is so often the case at many performances. Do not miss this sure-to-be-a-sell-out play. The Audrey Theatre at the Geffen Playhouse, 10886 Le Conte Avenue, Westwood. Tuesday - Thursday 8 p.m., Friday 7:30 p.m., Saturday 3:30 and 8 p.m.,Sunday 2:30 and 7:30 p.m. $69 - $74 (310 208-5454, - 11/18

Pre-performance Dinner Suggestion: Within a block and a half from the theatre, is a rather pricey Italian restaurant, TANINO,owned by a member of the busily cooking Drago clan. The place is imposing with a domed ceiling, rich woods and mirrored walls. You can spend a pretty penny here. We opted for the seafood pasta in a mildly spiced tomato sauce,with a good count of shrimp, calamari, mussels etc, $19, and the always reliable osso buco. The hearty veal shank is tenderly baked and comes with risotto, $28. A half bottle of Honig Sauvignon Blanc, $18. Service is attentive and they don't seem to lack for well heeled customers. Full bar. Valet parking but you can park at the Geffen's Westwood Plaza Garage for $7 for the night and walk. Tanino, 1043 Westwood Boulevards, Westwood. (310)208-2344.

- Absolutely must see
- A wonderful evening of theater
- An excellent evening of theater
- A good show, but not great
- Mediocre, but better than no theater at all
No Stars - Do something else or stay home

all Ingrid at (310) 377-7680